Too crazy to be on a Submarine

Too crazy to be on a Submarine

In the classic example of a newbie being locked in a submarine for three months, an animal is born.
This was a cold war era patrol sometime in 1973/4 and it happened that the Simon B. SSBN 641B was alerted to be completely refit and leave for our patrol area with in 17 days of arrival of the Blue crew. Now, this was my first submarine assignment, my third patrol and as crews go, this was a Great Crew. 
We had received our compliment of new crew and completed a refit, repairs, stores top off and a mini-sea trial with much credit to the Simon Lake submarine tender crew. No small feat in itself. 
We took off and headed for the Med and once on site in our patrol area we settled in for the usual boring routine and drill mix.
One of our newbies was an MT3. He seemed to be an okay guy (as guys and non-qual’s go). He was UI as the missile compartment rover and doing fine. 
As the rover he was charged (via his UI supervisory watch) with the cognizance of the EBW keys. (Exploding Bridge Wire(s) enable the gas generators that lift the launched the missiles)
He had seen the qualified rovers winging them around on their finger on a orange shot line necklace as they walked their beat.
After a particularly brutal day of battle stations missile drills this newbie was walking his beat, and beat he was. Swinging his keys and looking for all the world like a real pro. When off of his finger go the keys! Now, this is no small disaster. It boarders on a breach of national security. A break down in the first line of our nations defense against nuclear attack. 
They fly off his finger, not far, we are in a submarine mind you, in MCUL into a frame bay and they slide down along the hull into the bilge and stop near the base of tube 5. 
His mentor and the REAL responsible party for the keys gets a panicky look on his face and says "man you'd better get those keys, and don't tell anyone you lost 'em or we're swimmin' back home". Trying to get a rise of panic to show on this kids face. 
The poor kid is scared spit less. But to his credit he hides none of it. 
Down the ladder he goes into middle level and then down to LL. 
He starts flicking up the bilge hatches looking for the EBW keys. And talking to himself. With every hatch that opens and he finds nothing the more scared he becomes.
All the while the rover watch is in Launcher talking with the Launcher watch trying to be nonchalant. Soon it's time for his next round but no UI, and no EBW keys!!
So down to LL goes the watch. He peeks around the inboard side of tube 1 and sees the mid ships deck hatch is open at tube 5 but no UI is in site. He calls out. No response. He walks over to the deck hatch and calls down, no response. 
He calls again, nothing. Now really starting to get concerned he steps down onto the frame to enter the bilge and he hears a barking "bark, bark" and the UI takes a bite right out of his right calf. The rover is more than a little startled and lets out a muffled scream and backs out of the 'dogs' reach. But the UI stays back in the shadows of the bilge. Growling. 
Now the rover begins to get desperate. He has waited long enough and the situation could get out of hand quickly if the off going OOD makes his rounds and finds out the truth about this whole situation. 
About this time I wander through as Auxiliary man Forward. The rover asks me to go to the galley and plead with our night cook, who was a Light Weight Golden Gloves champion from Philly before he came into the service of his country, to come right away. 
As requested I get the cook, Tisdale, and bring him to MCLL. 
The rover explains to Tisdale that this is getting serious and displays a gaping bite bleeding all over the place in his calf. 
Tisdale steps over to the deck hatch and yells down: "don't you make me come down and get you". No response. Dead quite. 
Tisdale, now a little perturbed, takes a lesson from the rover and jumps straight down into the bilge and charges the UI while we wait above deck. Quickly we hear a loud smack followed by a muffled whimper and another smack, as two rapid punches render the trainee unconscious. He drags him to the hatch and we pull him up on the deck. He has the EBW keys in his hand. Wow, that was close. Now what? 
About that time the off going OOD comes through on his rounds. Now the cat (so to speak) is out of the bag. The entire episode was explained away as a classic case of severe stress induced isolation anxiety.
(Of course, the Navy in it's wisdom never misses a chance to implement new 'rules' to further complicate the lives of it' members. Shotline necklaces holding SECRET/TOP SECRET Keys were just that, necklaces, not some insignificant toy to be whipped around on a finger, no sir. From that point on those necklaces were to be attached to the duty belt of the rover. Just like his night stick.)
The guy's cheese had slipped off of his cracker, with a CRASH!. He thought he was a Dog! Submarine school was supposed to weed these types out. Without facilities to house a rubber room nut case he was restrained to MCLL out reach of anything that could cause harm to himself or the ship or crew. He stayed there for several days until he could be medi-vac'd off the boat. 
In the mean time, many of us missed our pets so visitors were regular as clock work.
We tried as hard as we could, we could never get him to do any real tricks though.
The real truth about how this whole thing happened was never explained to the wardroom due to the dire nature of the consequences. Today though, you know the rest of the story... 
And that, is a no shitter.