Date with a Dog

Date with a Dog
As a safety measure due to the extremely poor taste of this story the names of the guilty have been left out to protect them from serious retribution.
As any Submarine sailor knows, only too well, good taste is not a requirement for Sub duty. Actually, an occasional swerve into the truly cruel and exotic are not uncommon at all.
Such was the birth of the pool begun two days before we pulled into port in Jacksonville FLA. During the famous 'flex-ops' for boomers late in the '70's. 
Ten dollars got you in. Your job? Find the ugliest woman you could with in eight hours of the commencement of liberty and return with her to the Peppermint Lounge near the base gate by 1600hrs. 
The Peppermint lounge was known for it's line of male entertainment better understood as strippers. 
The originator of the pool was familiar with the area as his wife and her family were locals. Mind you, he was 100% faithful to her as far as I know, even under circumstances I thought were outside the realm of self restraint.
He had his strategy all lined up, though and it was TOP SECRET. 
Another in my division was in the pool and he, known as the dwarf for reasons other than his height, had his own strategy. 
In any event it was sure to be a contest you didn't want to miss as the competitive spirit overtook the entire liberty section.
Many who entered the pool never showed up despite the anti, and the pool approached $100.00 Which equates to a lot of drunken sailors. 
We all hit the beach with the usual gusto and wasted no time in getting right down to the business at hand, getting a buzz worthy of a Submarine sailor. 
By about 1400hrs. it was time for the serious pool competition to begin his return strategy. How to get his particular contestant back to the site of the event of the day. 
The dwarf never let on that he was in any way concerned about his 'contestants' where about or how he would get her to the Peppermint Lounge. 
Others, I am told, fretted about this from about ten o'clock until the cab door opened in front of the club. 
About 1400 though he looks at me and says I think I'll go to the hospital, I'll see ya' later. 
With a question that belied my confusion on my face, he left.
1600hrs was rolling up pretty quick and some of the guys had already showed up. Clearly, some of them either never had any intention of taking the contest seriously or were so drunk they couldn't tell they had arrived with women that were very attractive.
The originator of the pool was sitting confidently with his 'entry', alone at a table so as not to give away the contest. She looked all the world like Secretariat. 
And the side bets favored him by a two to one margin. 
The place was kicking with the anticipation of the event, the strippers, the beer and just being in port. 
Just as the clock was striking 1600 the front door to the 'club' was kicked open and walking in backwards was the dwarf!? What the? 
He had something in front of him... the sun was really brite.. it was a wheel chair! As he turned around the wind was sucked out of every self respecting sailor in the place. 
He had gone to the hospital and offered an afternoon out to a ambulatory resident paraplegic! 
The entire room fell silent as everyone looked in amazement at the dwarf and his 'date'. 
The callousness and bizarity was unparalleled in the history of Submarine depths. 
We had a winner! 
Despite the depravity of the entire event the cat was never let out of the bag and everyone enjoyed themselves until it was time to return to the ship.. or where ever they went to. 
I learned allot about myself, what I'm willing to do, participate in, condone and what I should be appalled at that night. 
Only one of the 'contestants' ever found out about the contest and she was furious. I can't remember when I ever saw a woman more angry even though I've had almost thirty years to look. 
She happened to be one of the most beautiful women there that evening. I suppose she was offended at the prospect of being thought of as a mutt by her 'date'. Instead of looking around and figuring that someone’s perspective was skewed, slightly, for what ever reason. 
Her sponsor was horrified when she made a stink and slapped him, stomping out never to be seen again by anyone there that night. 
In any event, the dwarf won hands down in a contest I thought surely would yield at least a little competition. 
To the courage of that fearless crew, I drink. 
May I never be required to prove myself under such conditions.